Good Inside

A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

by Dr. Becky Kennedy

4.8(3,028 ratings)

8 min read

Brief overview

This book helps you shift focus from seeing 'bad kids' to 'good kids having a hard time.' Expect to learn how empathy, boundaries, and emotional well-being can transform your parent-child connection. Along the way, it offers practical tools to build resilience and trust so that children can thrive in challenging moments.

Introduction

Parenting can sometimes feel like a constant juggling act: you want to nurture your child’s growth, keep them safe, and teach them how to manage big feelings—all at the same time. The pages ahead invite you to see each child as fundamentally good, even in their toughest moments.

By focusing on each child’s internal experience, you discover that behavior almost always points to a deeper need or feeling. This framework shifts us away from punishment or quick fixes and toward empathy, connection, and boundaries that actually work.

This summary shows how to affirm that both you and your child are good inside, even on the hardest days. You’ll learn ways to handle emotional meltdowns, encourage honesty, and reduce shame, while still providing the structure your child needs.

No matter your child’s age, it’s never too late to break old cycles. This journey flows from the idea that mistakes are windows into growth and that repairing moments of conflict is what truly shapes a strong parent-child bond.

The Good Inside Approach

A core premise is that your child is good inside, even when they say or do difficult things. The book invites parents to notice the difference between a child’s current behavior and their underlying character. This makes it easier to stay curious when kids act out.

Viewing children as good inside fosters warmth and steadiness instead of judgment. Once you believe a child isn’t broken, you’re more likely to respond with empathy, helping your child feel safe enough to grow and change.

This perspective doesn’t mean tolerating unacceptable actions. Instead, it means shifting from “How can I stop this right away?” to “What might my child need right now?” That question holds the key to compassionate discipline.

Every child’s toughest moments are a cry for connection, not evidence of badness.

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What is Good Inside about?

'Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be' by Dr. Becky Kennedy is an insightful and transformative book that challenges traditional parenting norms. Instead of labeling children as "bad" based on their actions, Dr. Kennedy offers a nuanced perspective that recognizes all children as "good inside." This empathy-driven framework encourages parents to foster a rich emotional connection with their children, which promotes resilience and trust. By understanding children's behavior as a reflection of underlying needs and feelings, the book helps parents maintain harmony and ensure emotional well-being within the family.

Dr. Kennedy presents practical tools designed to navigate the challenges of parenthood: from handling emotional outbursts to practicing self-care. Her approach is rooted in establishing strong boundaries that coexist with empathy, enabling parents to meet their child's needs without resorting to shame or punishment. These strategies are particularly revolutionary for parents grappling with guilt and frustration. Instead of focusing on arbitrary discipline methods, "Good Inside" seeks to redefine parenting as a nurturing, reciprocal relationship.

This book matters because it equips parents with the skills to build supportive environments where children can explore their emotions safely. It envisions parenting as a partnership of growth and understanding, impacting not only the current generation but also laying groundwork for future adult relationships imbued with self-worth and empathy. "Good Inside" is a crucial resource for any parent eager to cultivate a compassionate, resilient family dynamic.

Review of Good Inside

Dr. Becky Kennedy's "Good Inside" stands out in the crowded landscape of parenting literature by offering fresh, compassionate strategies for nurturing children. The book's primary strength lies in its empathetic approach, which recognizes that all behavior is a form of communication, usually indicating an unmet need or emotion rather than a fault in the child's character. By shifting focus from punitive measures to connection-based interactions, parents can foster an environment where children feel understood and secure.

The book is nothing short of a practical toolkit for parents, replete with actionable strategies like the "Two Things Are True" methodology. This principle allows parents to maintain boundaries while simultaneously validating children's feelings, reducing the power struggles that often disrupt family harmony. Dr. Kennedy excels at translating complex psychological concepts into accessible, conversational advice that parents can implement immediately. Her writing is straightforward yet eloquent, filled with wisdom yet remarkably relatable.

"Good Inside" is particularly relevant for parents who seek methods for reducing shame and guilt in their parenting style. Fathers, mothers, and guardians who wish to nurture emotional intelligence will find this book invaluable, as will educators and caregivers involved in children's development. It is recommended for everyone eager to embrace a nurturing, resilient approach to parenting that places emotional connection at its core.

Ultimately, "Good Inside" is a game-changer: A resource that encourages meaningful change in relationships with children while inviting parents to embark on their journey of self-compassion and growth.

Who should read Good Inside?

Parents of young children who want to focus on emotional well-being rather than punitive discipline.
Educators and caregivers interested in child psychology and developmental strategies.
Therapists and counselors seeking resources for family therapy and guidance.
New parents keen on adopting modern, connection-focused parenting techniques.
Family members looking to deepen their understanding and relationship with children.

About the author

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and bestselling author known as "The Millennial Parenting Whisperer" by TIME Magazine. She holds a BA in Psychology and Human Development from Duke University (Phi Beta Kappa and summa cum laude) and a PhD in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University. Dr. Kennedy is the founder and CEO of Good Inside, an online parenting advice service, and hosts the chart-topping podcast "Good Inside with Dr. Becky," which has been featured on Apple Podcasts "Best Shows of 2021" list. Her work focuses on empowering parents to manage parenting challenges through actionable strategies and a foundational belief that everyone is "good inside."