The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)

by Philippa Perry

4.6(10,604 ratings)

8 min read

Brief overview

This book is all about nurturing a healthy, respectful bond between you and your child by offering empathy and understanding. Instead of quick-fix discipline hacks, it focuses on honest communication, self-awareness, and recognizing how our own upbringings influence our parenting. With practical insights, it challenges you to reflect on your emotions and cultivate deeper, more fulfilling connections with your children.

Introduction

Parenting can be described as 24-hour care coupled with constant learning. Each day can bring moments of intense love and joy, as well as frustration and exhaustion. This opening page sets the stage by reminding you that you’re not alone in navigating this blend of devotion and difficulty.

How we respond to hiccups and triumphs in our child’s development influences how they perceive themselves and the world. Many of us instinctively keep busy with guidelines, routines, or solutions, rather than addressing the core of parenting: our relationship with our child.

To begin your journey, it helps to understand that parents are people first. We all have histories, triggers, and emotional baggage. Recognizing these aspects of ourselves is key because parenting often forces us to confront our own childhood experiences.

If you accept that parenting is about relating—not perfecting—you’ll unlock deeper trust and insight.

Your Own Emotional Legacy

Our childhood experiences shape how we relate to others, especially our children. If you grew up feeling dismissed or criticized, you might overreact to minor issues or strive for perfection when you become a parent. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward breaking negative cycles.

Take a moment to recall especially frustrating childhood moments. Were you scolded for behaviors that now seem normal for a child? Such memories can cause us to either repeat the same rigid reactions or swing to the other extreme. Identifying these reflexes gives you the chance to parent more thoughtfully.

Adopting a mindset of reflection rather than self-blame helps you understand that guesswork is inevitable. But by acknowledging your own past, you become more flexible in responding to your child’s needs. This honest examination of where you came from strengthens your parenting actions in the present.

Old resentments can resurface in new ways—know your triggers so you don’t pass them on.

Looking to dive deeper into The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)?

Download our app to unlock every key idea and gain full access.

What is The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) about?

The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) tackles what many parenting guides overlook: the emotional dynamics we bring to our relationships with our kids. Instead of prescribing quick fixes, it reveals how our own pasts shape the way we interact, communicate, and respond under stress, challenging us to rethink disciplinary habits and connect more compassionately.

Philippa Perry illustrates how empathy, self-awareness, and honest dialogue can transform your child's emotional well-being. Anchored in accessible psychological insights, the book highlights why consistency and warmth matter in building trust. The result is a road map that helps parents foster healthier attachment styles, address childhood triggers, and ultimately reinforce a more nurturing parent-child bond.

Review of The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)

One of the most compelling strengths here is how it reframes discipline and guidance, focusing on respecting your child’s feelings rather than shutting them down. Readers gain practical advice on empathy-driven communication and learn how to reduce emotional baggage that can cloud everyday interactions. These solutions feel realistic because the author shows concrete steps to handle tantrums, tension, and difficulties without alienating your child.

Philippa Perry writes in a personal and engaging style, which makes complex psychological themes approachable. Readers not only get direct applications—like how to be present during meltdowns—but also the reassurance that it’s normal to make mistakes. This mix of gentleness and clarity attracts parents, caregivers, and professionals who value child well-being. Overall, the book comes highly recommended for anyone eager to nurture deeper empathy and long-term family harmony.

Who should read The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)?

Parents looking for emotionally rooted strategies to strengthen bonds with their children
Caregivers interested in fostering respectful communication and reducing conflict
Therapists or counselors seeking fresh insights on parent-child relationship dynamics
Educators who want to understand the emotional factors influencing children’s behavior
New parents aiming to build a secure foundation for their child’s future mindset

About the author

Philippa Perry is a British integrative psychotherapist and author with over 20 years of experience in the mental health field. She holds a degree in Fine Art from Middlesex University and has written several books, including "Couch Fiction: A Graphic Tale of Psychotherapy" and "How to Stay Sane". Her book "The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)" has sold over 2 million copies and has been translated into numerous languages. She is also a regular columnist and presenter, having worked on various documentaries and radio shows.