13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do

Fix What's Broken, Develop Healthier Patterns, and Grow Stronger Together

by Amy Morin

4.5(12 ratings)

11 min read

Brief overview

This book explores habits that can damage even the strongest partnerships and shows how to replace them with healthier behaviors. Through real-life examples and practical strategies, it demonstrates how both individuals in a couple can build mental strength, foster trust, and create a more supportive relationship.

Introduction

Welcome to a conversation about building a mentally strong relationship. You and your partner are more than just roommates or co-parents; you're two individuals who can encourage each other through growth and healing. Sometimes, though, habits develop that sabotage real connection.

Imagine a couple like Gary and Alex, who gradually stopped sharing how they felt about daily life. Before they knew it, a gulf of unspoken resentments formed—until Gary discovered Alex was confiding every detail to a coworker instead. This kind of distance doesn’t happen overnight, but it can be prevented.

In these pages, you’ll see how to avoid habits that seem minor at first but add up to real damage. Each section highlights a mistake many of us have made—disrespect, ignoring problems, or expecting a partner to meet all our needs, among others. Then, we’ll explore ways to fix those habits and nurture deeper connections.

Consider this an invitation to examine your own patterns and discuss them honestly with your partner. With courage, communication, and a willingness to see where you can improve, you’ll be ready to break old habits and create a healthier, happier future together.

Facing Unresolved Issues

Many couples discover that pushing concerns under the rug only postpones the inevitable. When Angela realized she and her husband Carl no longer spent quality time together, she tried to ignore it hoping it would get better on its own. It didn’t. Their frustration simmered until both felt more disconnected.

Ignoring problems often sparks tension or resentment. One partner might sense trouble, while the other thinks everything is fine. Without open dialogue, small irritations grow into serious emotional rifts. Healthy couples take the initiative to discuss issues before they explode.

Admittedly, it can be uncomfortable to say, “I think we have a problem.” But real intimacy involves sharing concerns, not dancing around them. A simple question like, “Could we talk about what’s bothering us?” can halt a deepening divide. Your honesty can be the invitation that encourages your partner to open up.

When you tackle problems early, you reclaim emotional energy that would otherwise fuel silent resentment.

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What is 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do about?

"13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do" by Amy Morin offers an insightful exploration into the pivotal habits that deter mental strength within relationships. This enlightening guide challenges couples to confront the pitfalls that weaken their bonds, providing a roadmap towards healthier, more resilient partnerships. Through real-life stories and psychological strategies, Morin effectively illustrates how partners can cultivate emotional growth, effective communication, and adaptive habits to thrive together.

The book revolves around transformative themes such as setting boundaries, managing emotions, and embracing honesty as fundamental elements of strong relationships. By focusing on practical applications, it becomes not only a guide for couples looking to improve their communication, but also a toolkit for those striving to overcome personal barriers that impact their romantic lives. The narrative emphasizes the importance of steering clear of detrimental behaviors that hinder connection and offers a proactive approach to nurturing love and companionship.

Why does this book matter in today's fast-paced, relationship-challenging environment? As societal pressures increasingly encroach upon personal lives, "13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do" serves as a beacon for couples eager to foster enduring love. Its focus on mental resilience and constructive behavior empowers partners with the tools needed to transform conflicts into opportunities for growth, ultimately leaving readers inspired to embark on a journey of lasting intimacy and mutual respect.

Review of 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do

Amy Morin's "13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do" masterfully distills complex psychological insights into practical, everyday wisdom. Her book stands out for its accessible language and relevant examples drawn not only from clinical experiences but from common relationship challenges that many couples face. One of its key strengths lies in its actionable advice, urging readers to replace damaging patterns with healthier alternatives, which is easily relatable and applicable to real life.

The writing is engaging, direct, and avoids peddling abstract psychology in favor of pragmatic tips that encourage healthy emotional habits. Morin's narrative style balances professional insight with the warmth of a conversation, making the guidance feel both intelligent and personable. Readers are taken through a thoughtful journey that invites them to examine their patterns without judgement but with a constructive lens.

This book is particularly relevant for couples seeking tangible ways to improve their communication, manage conflict, and nurture shared goals. Engaging and insightful, it's a recommended read for those desiring to enrich their relationships with depth and compassion. The blend of authenticity, relatability, and clinical wisdom makes this a must-read for anyone short on time but long on eagerness to build stronger connections.

Who should read 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do?

- **Newlyweds**: Couples embarking on married life, seeking tools for establishing a strong partnership from the outset.
- **Long-term Partners**: Individuals in established relationships desiring to revive compatibility and communication.
- **Therapists or Counselors**: Professionals who aim to provide evidence-based practices for couples therapy.
- **Couples Facing Conflict**: Partners striving to resolve recurring disputes with constructive and emotionally intelligent strategies.
- **Self-Improvement Enthusiasts**: Readers interested in personal development and the role relationships play in emotional growth.

About the author

Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and lecturer at Northeastern University. She is an international bestselling author known for her "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do" series, which has sold over 1 million copies and been translated into more than 40 languages. Her expertise in mental strength stems from both her professional experience and personal life, having overcome significant personal losses. She is also a sought-after speaker and has given one of the most popular TEDx talks of all time, with over 22 million views.