101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged

by H. Norman Wright

4.6(2,388 ratings)

12 min read

Brief overview

This book encourages deeper conversations before moving toward engagement. It guides you in exploring core beliefs, formative experiences, and shared goals to ensure both partners are prepared to commit. Expect to come away with practical ways to identify compatibility, nurture intimacy, and anticipate areas needing mutual effort.

Introduction

Marriage is a milestone that promises companionship and growth, but it also comes with risks if partners barely know the real person behind the romance. Engaging conversations and intentionally exploring each other’s values can mean the difference between thriving together or feeling surprised and distressed. That’s why asking the right questions matters so much.

In the journey toward commitment, you want to uncover not just personality traits but also hidden fears, hopes, and nonnegotiables. Doing so ensures you won’t enter marriage unknowingly tied to habits or attitudes that clash with your own. Openness brings clarity and readiness for life’s inevitable challenges.

Throughout these pages, you’ll see why building a strong acquaintanceship isn’t about spoiling the magic. It’s about forging a deeper bond that stands the test of time. By diving into questions on faith, family, finances, and more, you discover how to align life visions with the person you love.

Knowing each other’s inner world now saves you from painful discoveries later.

Never Marry a Stranger

If you consider marriage unprepared, you risk waking up next to someone you realize you never truly knew. People often assume love alone will solve everything, but meaningful relationships hinge on understanding how each partner responds to stress, navigates conflict, and interprets commitment.

In many cases, red flags are overlooked to maintain peace. For instance, you might wave away a partner’s mood swings with the hope they’ll magically vanish after the wedding. But unresolved personal issues rarely improve just because there’s a ring on your finger.

Open-eyed love demands knowledge, not daydreams or assumptions.

What does it really mean not to marry a stranger? It means spending time with your partner in varied environments—meeting family, celebrating joys, facing disappointments—to see how they behave. It involves noting where their values clash or mesh with yours. You need those answers before saying “I do.”

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What is 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged about?

"101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged" is a transformative guide that delves deeper than typical relationship advice. Crafted by the esteemed H. Norman Wright, this book serves as a crucial roadmap for couples considering lifelong commitment. By exploring an array of probing questions, the book ensures that partners engage in candid conversations about shared values, life goals, and potential red flags. It empowers couples to forge a bond grounded in mutual understanding and respect, essential for a fulfilling future together.

In this essential toolkit for pre-marital exploration, Wright encourages readers to unearth the layers of beliefs, desires, and histories that shape a relationship. From tackling topics like financial harmony and family backgrounds to embracing spiritual alignment, this book aims to prepare couples for life's unpredictable journey. By fostering rich dialogues and revealing hidden intricacies, "101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged" offers readers a chance to create a strong foundation rooted in emotional and intellectual affinity.

This book doesn't just address practical concerns; it illuminates the path to nurturing an intimate partnership where both individuals grow. By proactively addressing potential conflicts and articulating mutual aspirations, couples can confidently approach marriage with wisdom, ensuring that the shared road ahead is filled with understanding and joy.

Review of 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged

H. Norman Wright’s "101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged" stands out as an invaluable resource for couples contemplating marriage. One of its significant strengths lies in its comprehensive approach to relationship-building, addressing not just the romantic aspects but also the practical realities of partnership.

The book adeptly steers readers through core topics such as financial planning, family dynamics, and spirituality, making it a practical guide beyond traditional relationship advice. Wright’s insightful questions prompt introspection, encouraging couples to dive deep into their values and beliefs. The book also introduces methods for identifying and resolving red flags, ensuring partners focus on building a healthy and honest relationship. Wright's style is conversational and accessible, transforming potentially awkward discussions into engaging dialogues.

Designed for couples eager to explore their readiness for long-term commitment, this book is especially relevant in today’s fast-paced world, where taking time for meaningful engagement often gets sidelined. While initially daunting, the questions reveal essential truths that deepen mutual understanding. Wright encourages honesty to foster a relationship built on transparency and respect, allowing couples to enter marriage confidently and prepared.

For anyone considering marriage, "101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged" is a must-read. It equips couples with the tools needed for successful partnership, ensuring a relationship poised for longevity and happiness.

Who should read 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged?

Engaged couples seeking a deeper understanding of their relationship will find this book particularly valuable. It offers guidance on addressing fundamental issues essential for a harmonious marriage.
Relationship counselors and therapists can use this book as a resource to facilitate meaningful conversations between clients seeking pre-marital counseling.
Individuals who are navigating the complexities of serious relationships will appreciate the potential this book offers for enhancing communication and understanding with their partner.
Those who have experienced failed relationships and wish to enter future commitments with greater clarity and preparedness.
Family members or friends of someone considering engagement can recommend this book as a supportive tool for making informed decisions.

About the author

H. Norman Wright was a licensed marriage, family, and child therapist with over 30 years of private practice experience. He held a Master's degree from Fuller Theological Seminary and Pepperdine University, and received two honorary doctorates. Dr. Wright authored over 100 books, including "Experiencing Grief" and "The New Guide to Crisis and Trauma Counseling," and was a certified trauma specialist and traumatologist. He was also a former director of the Graduate Department of Marriage, Family, and Child Counseling at Biola University.