The How of Happiness

A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want

by Sonja Lyubomirsky

4.6(1,742 ratings)

11 min read

Brief overview

This book explores why our typical ideas about happiness seldom lead to lasting fulfillment and shows how specific strategies can transform our sense of well-being. It reveals that improving our long-term happiness does not depend heavily on genetics or life events and provides a roadmap of practical activities that can help us become happier and more resilient.

Introduction

Why do so many people struggle to find real happiness despite desiring it wholeheartedly? This book addresses the mismatch between our assumptions about what makes us happy—like money, possessions, or the perfect body—and what science tells us truly creates lasting well-being. By highlighting empirical studies, it shows that while genes and circumstances play a partial role, a large part of our happiness comes from intentional activities and mindsets. The journey of boosting one’s happiness does involve commitment and practice, but it is within our reach.

We begin by challenging the notion that happiness is a goal achieved through chance or by obtaining ideal life conditions. Instead, a science-based approach reveals that building happiness is akin to building any skill: It requires the right methods, persistence, and adaptation. Throughout these pages, you will discover which interventions can make a real difference in your quality of life. Whether your ambitions are modest or expansive, the evidence shows that you can take control of your emotional well-being.

The upcoming chapters will introduce you to the surprising data behind set points, hedonic adaptation, and the powerful 40% we can directly influence. Along the way, you will learn how to tailor specific methods that fit your personality and life circumstances. This introduction serves as an invitation to explore a new path toward feeling more satisfied, more frequently, and with greater resilience in the face of adversity.

The Set Point and Why Genes Aren't Everything

Research with twins reveals that genetics can influence about half of our happiness tendency. This baseline, or set point, helps explain why some people are naturally cheerful and others prone to gloom. This does not mean we are stuck: Individuals with a tendency to lower moods can still raise their well-being if they apply the right strategies.

The key idea is that each of us is born with a certain predisposition for happiness, just like we might inherit a tendency to be tall or short. Yet, just as someone with a slow metabolism can control weight through discipline, effort, and habits, those with a seemingly lower happiness set point can still improve their moods and sense of fulfillment through concrete actions and mindset shifts.

This discovery of a biologically influenced set point underscores that happiness is not purely about willpower or lifestyle. It also highlights that natural disposition does not fully determine our fate. While genes cement a share of our baseline, they are not destiny. We can explore the means by which people successfully boost long-term well-being, despite an inborn starting level.

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What is The How of Happiness about?

"The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want" by Sonja Lyubomirsky offers a scientifically-backed exploration of happiness that challenges conventional wisdom. The book dismisses the common belief that external factors such as wealth, beauty, or career accomplishments are the keys to lasting fulfillment. Instead, it posits that up to 40% of our happiness is influenced by intentional activities and mindset shifts that we can control and cultivate over time.

Central to the book are empirical insights into hedonic adaptation—the rapid return to baseline happiness levels following positive and negative life events. By demystifying the interplay between genetics, life circumstances, and personal agency, Lyubomirsky offers readers practical strategies to enhance joy and resilience. These techniques, ranging from gratitude journaling to fostering social connections, provide a roadmap for achieving a sustained sense of well-being that's grounded in evidence rather than fleeting emotions or external validations.

This compelling narrative encourages readers to intentionally engage with life to build authentic happiness that transcends temporary pleasures. Its approach is both accessible and transformative, making "The How of Happiness" an essential guide for anyone seeking to enrich their emotional health in meaningful ways.

Review of The How of Happiness

Sonja Lyubomirsky's "The How of Happiness" stands out as a robust addition to the literature on personal well-being due to its foundation in rigorous scientific research. One of the book's primary strengths is its actionable and evidence-based strategies that empower readers to take control of their happiness in everyday life. These strategies counter the notion that joy is merely a product of luck or external circumstances, instead arguing for positive change through cognitive and behavioral adjustments.

Readers will appreciate the approachable and structured writing style that breaks down complex psychological concepts into practical applications. The book's focus on techniques like kindness, optimism, and mindfulness provides clear, measurable methods to increase happiness, supported by intervention studies and empirical data. Additionally, the book's discussion on the "happiness set point" provides a refreshing and realistic perspective on the limits and possibilities of personal transformation.

"The How of Happiness" caters to a diverse audience, from those new to self-help to seasoned readers keen on psychology. The author's emphasis on personal agency and the transformative power of small, consistent actions makes it a must-read for anyone committed to enhancing their well-being. This comprehensive guide is an outstanding resource, paving the way for readers to realize a more fulfilling life through scientifically sound practices.

For those seeking a methodical and personalized approach to well-being, "The How of Happiness" comes highly recommended.

Who should read The How of Happiness?

Individuals seeking personal growth: By offering science-backed methods for enhancing happiness, this book is perfect for those invested in self-development.
Psychologists and mental health professionals: The book's empirical foundation makes it a valuable resource for clinicians and counselors looking to incorporate evidence-based practices into their work.
Educators and students of psychology: With its clear explanation of key psychological concepts, the book serves as an excellent supplementary text for academic studies in positive psychology.
People undergoing life transitions: Those experiencing change, such as career shifts or relationship endings, can find solace and actionable tools within its pages.
Readers of self-help literature: For enthusiasts of self-improvement books, this title offers a unique angle by blending rigorous scientific research with practical applications.

About the author

Sonja Lyubomirsky is a distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside. She received her B.A. summa cum laude from Harvard University and her Ph.D. in Social/Personality Psychology from Stanford University. With nearly 35 years of experience in happiness research, she has authored "The How of Happiness" and "The Myths of Happiness," published in 39 countries, and has been honored with numerous awards, including an Honorary Doctorate from the University of Basel, the Diener Award, and a million-dollar grant from the National Institute of Mental Health. Her work focuses on developing a science of human happiness through interventions such as gratitude, kindness, and connection.