Running on Empty

Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

by Jonice Webb, PhD

4.6(4,960 ratings)

13 min read

Brief overview

This book dives into the often-unseen ways childhood emotional neglect can shape your adult experience. Through relatable examples and practical exercises, it shows how hidden emotional gaps affect self-worth and relationships. Expect guidance on recognizing these unseen wounds and learning how to heal, nurture, and ultimately thrive.

Introduction

Picture growing up feeling like everything around you was okay on the surface, yet sensing a quiet emptiness within. That’s the essence of childhood emotional neglect—an absence of validation that’s so subtle, you might not even detect its presence. But over time, this hidden gap can shape how you see yourself and relate to others.

Emotional neglect isn’t always caused by overt trauma or mistreatment. Often, it’s what you didn’t receive: open discussions about feelings, clear guidance on how to handle them, or simply permission to express yourself without fear. These missing pieces can leave you asking, “Why do I feel off when my past wasn’t so bad?”

In these pages, you’ll discover it’s perfectly normal to feel stuck or lost if your emotional needs weren’t met in childhood. You’ll also learn there’s a path to becoming more satisfied, resilient, and emotionally aware. Every small step can mend old wounds and help you take ownership of your well-being.

Healing begins when you know something vital has been lost and decide to reclaim it.

The Hidden Wound: Emotional Neglect

Childhood emotional neglect is best understood as an absence—what didn’t happen, rather than what did. You may have grown up in a safe home, with food on the table and a roof overhead, yet never felt truly “seen” by your caregivers. Because there’s no obvious event to recall, this kind of hurt can go unnoticed for years.

Imagine an invisible boundary between a parent and child. The parent might love the child but not fully acknowledge or explore the child’s inner world. This emptiness quietly shapes how the child deals with emotions, perceives others’ reactions, and even sets personal goals. Over time, a person might feel hollow, undervalued, or uncertain of their worth.

What makes emotional neglect so tricky is that it’s often accompanied by a sense of guilt: “I don’t have the right to feel unfulfilled. My parents did their best.” But genuine care also involves helping a child name and validate what they feel. When that’s missing, we carry unspoken questions about our identity and place in the world.

When a child’s emotions are unseen, they often grow up feeling they themselves are unseen.

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What is Running on Empty about?

Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD, is an illuminating exploration of the effects of unrecognized emotional neglect in childhood. This transformative guide unveils the subtle but powerful ways that invisible wounds shape adult life. Webb's work is a beacon of hope for individuals struggling with self-worth, as it offers practical exercises and eye-opening insights to recognize, address, and heal from these childhood experiences.

The book delves deeply into the idea that what didn’t happen in childhood can be as significant as what did. It sheds light on the often-missed emotional needs that, if unfulfilled, can lead to feelings of emptiness or disconnection in adulthood. Webb masterfully navigates readers through recognizing these emotional gaps, providing guidance on how to nurture oneself back to a fulfilling and balanced emotional state. Running on Empty isn't just a book; it's a pathway to reclaiming control over your emotional well-being.

This essential read emphasizes the profound impact of recognizing and healing from childhood emotional neglect, emphasizing that change is not only possible but transformative. Webb's compassionate advice and evidence-based approaches make this book an invaluable companion for anyone seeking to understand and overcome the hidden challenges of their upbringing.

Review of Running on Empty

Jonice Webb's Running on Empty stands out with its clear, accessible writing and deeply empathetic tone. This book successfully exposes the silent nature of emotional neglect and how it influences the journey of many into adulthood. One of the book’s key strengths lies in its ability to break down complex psychological concepts into relatable experiences, enabling readers to see and understand themselves in its pages.

Webb's use of practical exercises and relatable anecdotes makes the book not just informative but exceptionally interactive. The actionable steps provided are grounded in reality, making them accessible for anyone ready to embark on personal healing. The exercises encourage readers to identify invisible emotional neglect and foster healing through self-compassion, understanding, and gentle exploration of their emotions. The writing style is conversational yet deeply respectful of the reader's experience, effectively balancing empathy with authority.

While the book primarily targets those who suspect they have experienced emotional neglect, it is equally relevant for therapists, parents, and educators looking to understand the nuances of emotional health. Webb's expertise shines through her nuanced insights into childhood experiences and her encouraging guidance for individuals ready to make peace with their past. Whether you're a seasoned self-help reader or new to these concepts, this book offers a nurturing and informative embrace. Highly recommended for anyone looking to regain emotional grounding.

Who should read Running on Empty?

Therapists and Mental Health Professionals: Gain a deeper understanding of how childhood emotional neglect affects clients and enrich therapeutic practices with practical insights.
Educators and Childcare Workers: Cultivate an enriching environment where children's emotional needs are recognized and taken seriously, preventing neglect from the onset.
Parents: Learn the importance of emotional validation in raising children, ensuring they develop healthy emotional competencies.
Adults Experiencing Unresolved Emotional Struggles: Recognize and address childhood emotional neglect effects, paving the way for healing and self-understanding.
Personal Development Enthusiasts: Explore the intricacies of emotional health with applicable strategies that promote holistic self-awareness and growth.

About the author

Jonice Webb, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and best-selling author with over 30 years of clinical experience. She earned her PhD in clinical psychology in 1989 and has been licensed to practice in Massachusetts since 1991. Dr. Webb specializes in treating emotional neglect in individuals, couples, and families, and has written two self-help books, including "Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect" and "Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships." She is recognized worldwide for her groundbreaking work on childhood emotional neglect.