I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't)

Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough”

by Brené Brown

4.7(7,752 ratings)

7 min read

Brief overview

This book offers a compassionate look at the nature of shame and how it shapes our relationships, our self-worth, and our ability to connect with others. It explores key insights into why shame can feel so isolating and what practical steps we can take to build resilience, self-acceptance, and a deeper sense of belonging. Readers will find personal stories, research-backed insights, and everyday examples that illustrate a path toward living with more courage, authenticity, and empathy.

Embracing Vulnerability

Shame often creeps in when we fear that others will see us as flawed or unworthy. Early in the book, we learn that this fear can prevent us from showing our true selves, keeping us guarded and disconnected.

The author underscores that we’re all wired for connection and belonging. Yet the worry of being judged or rejected can push us to hide our vulnerabilities—precisely what keeps us from feeling seen and loved.

In real-life anecdotes, we see how easy it is to feel alone in our failures and shortcomings. But by owning our stories, we begin to understand that we are not alone—everyone experiences shame.

Setting a tone of warmth and openness, this section invites readers to realize that vulnerability isn’t a weakness but a pathway to deeper courage and self-awareness.

Defining Shame and Its Impact

Shame is described as the intensely painful sense that we’re flawed and unworthy of belonging. Unlike guilt, which focuses on behavior (“I did something bad”), shame targets our core identity (“I am bad”).

This distinction helps clarify why shame feels overwhelming. It attacks our sense of self, making us want to hide, lash out, or become paralyzed. In the moment of shame, rational thinking often disappears.

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”

The book’s early chapters underscore that we cannot shame ourselves (or others) into positive transformation. Instead, understanding shame is the first step to healing and personal growth.

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What is I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) about?

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) shines a light on shame and how it affects our sense of worth. Through in-depth research and personal stories, Brené Brown reveals common misunderstandings about shame and challenges the idea that we should keep it hidden.

By showing how empathy, openness, and self-acceptance can break shame’s hold, this book charts a path toward feeling worthy even in our most difficult moments. Readers learn why acknowledging vulnerability is not a weakness and how self-compassion can fortify relationships, foster growth, and create meaningful change.

Review of I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't)

Brené Brown’s work stands out for its foundation in both academic research and lived experience. She weaves real-life stories with clear explanations, making the subject of shame approachable. Each chapter offers practical insights, such as recognizing personal triggers and developing empathy, which readers can use in their relationships or personal growth. The writing style is both down-to-earth and professional, ensuring it reaches a wide range of readers—from those in therapy or counseling fields to individuals simply curious about personal development.

What makes this book memorable is its warm, inclusive tone. Brown removes the distance between researcher and reader, providing everyday examples and candid reflections. Because she addresses universal themes like struggle, connection, and self-esteem, the book resonates with diverse audiences. It is highly recommended for anyone seeking deeper self-understanding or looking to help others fight the isolation shame can cause. Readers looking for practical steps toward a kinder inner dialogue and healthier relationships will find this title a strong choice.

Who should read I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't)?

Therapists and counselors seeking fresh perspectives on addressing shame with clients
Individuals wrestling with self-worth issues and wanting practical coping strategies
Professionals in caregiving roles seeking stronger empathetic connections
Readers exploring ways to build deeper, more authentic relationships

About the author

Brené Brown, PhD, is a research professor, author, and speaker known for her work on vulnerability, shame, and human connection. She holds a Bachelor of Social Work from The University of Texas at Austin (1995), a Master of Social Work from the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work (1996), and a Doctor of Philosophy in Social Work from the same institution (2002). With over 20 years of experience in social work and research, she has authored several bestselling books, including "I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough”". Her TED Talks on vulnerability and shame have garnered tens of millions of views, establishing her as a leading voice in her field.