Selfie

How We Became So Self-Obsessed and What It's Doing to Us

by Will Storr

4.4(803 ratings)

11 min read

Brief overview

This book explores where our modern fascination with the self came from and how it drove us toward the pursuit of personal perfection. It takes you on a journey across history, psychology, and culture, revealing why we feel endless pressure to be special and how that affects our well-being.

Introduction

We live in a culture that urges us to become the best versions of ourselves. From social media feeds to self-help gurus, it's hard to escape calls to stand out and succeed. Yet the relentless chase for perfection can leave us feeling anxious, empty, or stuck.

This book unravels how this obsession with the self took root. It digs into ancient Greece, medieval Christian theology, the rise of self-esteem psychology, and modern media influences. By understanding where our beliefs about identity come from, we can regain control over them.

In these pages, we see that values we take for granted—like personal freedom or self-determination—didn’t grow naturally but were shaped by cultural twists and historical events. This perspective can free us from narrow ideas of success and help us find deeper meaning in everyday life.

As you follow the stories and research, you’ll discover surprising truths: that our 'selves' are more flexible than we imagine, and that chasing perfection might be the very thing holding us back. Let’s begin by examining the earliest roots of who we think we are.

The Tribal Self

Human identity has deep evolutionary origins. For thousands of years, our ancestors lived in tribes, intensely depending on each other for survival. This environment favored group harmony but also fueled rivalries and status games that still shape our psychological instincts today.

Studies of chimpanzees give us a window into our own tribal past. Like us, chimps form alliances, hold grudges, and gossip. We share a drive to protect our tribe’s interests and punish those who undermine them. These primal urges silently guide modern behavior.

Though we no longer live in small bands, we carry the same neural wiring for cooperation and competition. We’re constantly toggling between seeking approval and asserting dominance. Much of our “self” is built around staying on good terms with the group, so we can get along and get ahead.

Understanding our tribal origins helps explain why status matters so much. If our place in the group feels threatened, we’ll do almost anything to protect it. That same protective flair can push us to extremes in modern life, where social judgments happen at dizzying speed.

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What is Selfie about?

In "Selfie: How We Became So Self-Obsessed and What It's Doing to Us," Will Storr intricately weaves a tapestry of historical, psychological, and cultural narratives to dissect modern society's fascination with personal perfection. The book delves into the deeply embedded societal pressures to excel and stand out, taking readers on a journey through time—from the philosophical musings of Ancient Greece to the pervasive influence of today's digital landscape. Storr unveils the origins of self-esteem movements and the unintended rise of narcissism, anchoring his insights in both historical context and contemporary relevance.

Storr's exploration of the "self" is not merely an academic exercise; it's a profound reflection on our collective psyche and its implications on individual well-being. The narratives presented highlight the societal constructs that often mold our identities, pushing individuals toward possibly destructive paths in the quest for flawlessness. The book compels readers to question the conventional notions of success, urging a reevaluation of what it truly means to lead a fulfilling and authentic life in an age dominated by the lure of superficial perfection.

Review of Selfie

Will Storr's "Selfie" presents a compelling critique of our obsession with self-improvement and personal validation through a blend of historical anecdotes, scientific research, and cultural analysis. One of the book's notable strengths is its holistic approach in dissecting complex themes, making it accessible to a diverse audience. Storr marries insights from psychology and anthropology with real-world examples, offering a multifaceted lens on how our need for acceptance and greatness impacts our mental health and societal interactions.

The practical applications of Storr's narrative are apparent as he calls for a shift from relentless self-critique towards embracing our inherent imperfections. His engaging writing style, infused with humor and empathy, invites readers to reflect on their own lives, promoting self-acceptance over self-censorship. It's a narrative that resonates with anyone fatigued by the constant chase of "likes" and "follows," urging them to find value in modest successes and moments of authenticity. While the book is introspective, it's straightforward enough for anyone grappling with the pressure to conform to external expectations.

Ideal for psychologists, sociologists, or anyone invested in societal dynamics, "Selfie" also holds relevance for the everyday reader seeking clarity amidst the chaos of modern cultural pressures. By challenging the traditional metrics of success, Storr illustrates how redefining personal and communal goals can lead to more profound contentment. An enlightening and analytical work, "Selfie" is a must-read that deftly captures the zeitgeist of our times, warranting its place on every bookshelf.

The final takeaway is nothing short of enlightening: our cultural sprint towards the extraordinary doesn't need to define us. Storr encourages a balance between ambition and acceptance, reminding readers that being part of the grand tapestry of humanity is an achievement in itself.

Who should read Selfie?

Psychologists and counselors seeking understanding of modern societal pressures.
Individuals navigating personal development and identity crises.
Students and academics in sociology or cultural studies focusing on identity.
Self-help enthusiasts looking for perspectives beyond typical platitudes.
Parents and educators aiming to understand self-esteem dynamics in youth.

About the author

Will Storr is a British author and journalist known for his critically acclaimed books on various subjects, including social psychology and storytelling. He has written six books, including "Selfie: How We Became So Self-Obsessed and What It's Doing to Us," which explores the rise of self-obsession in Western society. Storr has received numerous awards for his journalism, including the Amnesty International Award and the One World Press Award for his work on human rights issues. He has also worked as a ghostwriter for high-profile public figures and has written for major publications such as The Guardian, The New Yorker, and The Sunday Times.