Big Friendship

How We Keep Each Other Close

by Aminatou Sow, Ann Friedman

4.3(1,210 ratings)

9 min read

Brief overview

This book takes readers on a journey through the highs and lows of a profound friendship. It shows how two people can build a supportive bond, face race and health struggles, and redefine what it means to stand by each other. Expect insights on how to nurture a lasting connection in a world that often overlooks the complexities of friendship.

Introduction

Friendship is often treated like the feel-good backdrop of life, yet it’s one of our most important relationships. Unlike romantic or family ties, close friends choose each other without any label compelling that intimacy.

This story focuses on a Big Friendship—an enduring, deep bond that reshapes identities, expands horizons, and brings real challenges. The authors share their experiences of moving cities, forming careers, and building a podcast together.

Yet, along the way, they grapple with health problems, distance, and the tension that arises when race or money matters are left unaddressed. It’s a reminder that truly caring for someone involves more than witty banter or easy good times.

A strong friendship doesn’t just happen—it’s created by people who fiercely decide to invest in each other.

Building a Foundation

In the early days of commuting between unstable jobs and big dreams, the two friends discovered a unique spark—an instant sense that they could rely on each other. They expressed shared ambitions, but also recognized underlying vulnerabilities.

They spent countless hours on sofas and over phones, exchanging life stories, jokes, and hopes. This seemingly casual time built a bedrock of trust, making it possible to navigate changes, disagreements, and even betrayals later on.

Crucially, these friends learned to share honest advice about job interviews, salary negotiations, or new city moves. They realized that life’s big leaps feel less scary when they have someone cheering in the background, hands-on with support.

Time spent together—virtually or in person—plants the seeds for a future sense of true belonging.

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What is Big Friendship about?

"Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close" offers a candid exploration of maintaining profound connections in a complex world. Crafted with sincerity and keen insight by authors Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, this book immerses readers into their journey of enduring friendship. Sow and Friedman, through their dynamic life stories, address how urban change, diverse career challenges, and personal strife have informed their relationship. A primary focus is the Shine Theory—a belief system built on mutual support rather than competition, signifying a commitment to uplift and cheer for each other's successes. By sharing their experiences, they narrate the human essence of friendship in overcoming adversity, leading readers toward a richer understanding of relationships.

This engaging narrative underlines the necessity of being supportive, expressive, and empathetic within friendships. The authors' personal anecdotes are both refreshing and relatable, striking a chord for anyone who values the bonds of camaraderie. By tackling the hard conversations around race, distance, and ambition, they reveal how relationships can mature and adapt through life's changing demands. With authenticity, "Big Friendship" advocates for genuine investment in friendships, casting light on their transformative power.

Review of Big Friendship

Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman masterfully bring to life the complex, yet rewarding world of significant friendships in "Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close." This book's compelling strength lies in its honest portrayal of friendship's multifaceted nature. Readers are treated to a well-rounded insight into both the emotional challenges and practicalities Laden with humor, warmth, and wisdom, this narrative resonates deeply, as it dives into both heartwarming and difficult realities people face with their closest allies.

The Shine Theory, pivotal to the story, is skillfully presented as a practical philosophy for ensuring the sustenance and growth of friendships. It's an easy-to-grasp guideline, yet profound with implications, especially in competitive workspaces. The conversational and engaging writing style invites readers to reflect on their relationships, making the book accessible and relatable to readers from all walks of life.

The book is perfect for those navigating adult friendships, particularly those confronting issues related to distance, ambition, and the evolving nature of individual lives. It is beneficial for anyone seeking meaningful and long-lasting relationships grounded on authenticity and mutual acknowledgment. This narrative encourages the reader to invest in friendships, proving it time and again that thoroughness and commitment in relationships result in fulfilling life experiences. A must-read for anyone seeking depth and substance in their friendly connections.

Who should read Big Friendship?

Young professionals seeking to balance career growth with maintaining robust friendships. This book offers insights into overcoming the strain of ambition on personal relations.
Individuals exploring ways to remain connected with friends despite geographical separations. The personal stories in the book provide valuable perspectives.
People committed to nurturing authentic relationships, as the narrative emphasizes mutual respect and collective growth.
Those involved in diversity and inclusion advocacy, given its candid discussions on race and privilege within personal spaces.
Readers interested in personal development through meaningful relationships. The emphasis on Shine Theory offers a model for cooperative success.

About the author

Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman are authors and podcasters known for their hit podcast "Call Your Girlfriend." They co-authored "Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close," a book that explores the complexities and importance of close friendships. Both authors have extensive experience in media and writing, with Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman having worked together on their podcast since 2014. Their book has been praised for its honest and insightful look into the dynamics of long-term friendships.