Boy Erased

A Memoir of Identity, Faith, and Family

by Garrard Conley

4.2(2,747 ratings)

11 min read

Brief overview

This book dives into the life of a devout, small-town teenager who discovers he is gay and is pushed into conversion therapy by his well-meaning but dismayed parents. Through his story—marked by inner doubt, family bonds, and religious conviction—you witness his desperate search for identity, love, and acceptance. It stands as an emotional testament to human resilience and the quest to remain true to oneself.

Introduction

Imagine growing up in a world where your parents, your church, and most of your community share a single notion of right and wrong, and every moment you sense that you might fall on the wrong side. That was Garrard’s life. Raised by a devout father soon to become a preacher and a caring but anxious mother, he inhabited a strict moral framework from the very start.

In this deeply religious environment, everyone from distant relatives to schoolmates had an opinion about sin and holiness. Garrard wanted nothing more than to be worthy of their love. Yet a secret grew within him: he was gay. That discovery haunted him, for in his church’s eyes, being gay stood next to unforgivable acts.

His life shifted the moment an acquaintance outed him to his parents, who were overwhelmed by a mix of heartbreak and fear for his spiritual wellbeing. They saw only one path to salvation: a form of conversion therapy. Garrard felt as though his world was collapsing—torn between pleasing his family and confronting the reality of who he was.

This introduction sets the stage: a young man at a painful crossroads, determined to be a good son and a faithful believer but unable to quiet a truth that refused to be erased. Here begins his fight for self-acceptance, even when everyone around him insists he must change.

A Family of Faith

Garrard’s father, a charismatic car dealer on his way to becoming a preacher, anchored the household with firm convictions. His mother followed suit, supporting her husband in both his dreams and his Christian mission. Together, they held weekly devotions, read scripture, and believed strongly in leading people to God.

Within this tight-knit Southern community, church activities were central to daily life. Bible studies, community potlucks, and sermon discussions shaped Garrard’s worldview. He prayed fervently, recited scriptures, and longed to make his father proud. In many ways, they were the picture of a warm, God-fearing family.

Meanwhile, Garrard’s love for storytelling and writing set him apart slightly—he was reflective, craving deeper meaning but unsure how to voice doubts. Everyone expected him to be just like his father someday, spreading the Word of God through kind deeds and stirring sermons. But Garrard sensed he was different, and that difference weighed on him.

As his father became more involved in jail ministry and local church leadership, the family’s reputation soared. Yet Garrard’s hidden thoughts about his sexuality grew. The weight of his father’s earnest mission, the community’s praise, and the fear of disappointing everyone set the tone for his inner conflict—soon to flare into a crisis.

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What is Boy Erased about?

Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith, and Family is a profound narrative exploring the turmoil of a young man torn between his identity and deeply-held religious convictions. Authored by Garrard Conley, this memoir offers a heart-wrenching account of his ordeal in conversion therapy, an institution promising to "cure" homosexuality but wound up challenging his very sense of self.

Diving into intricate themes of faith, family, and self-acceptance, Conley's story is more than a personal journey; it's an examination of the clash between the rigid norms of his Southern Baptist upbringing and his desperate yearning for authenticity. It's a poignant reminder of the enduring impact of societal norms and the transformative power of understanding and empathy.

Boy Erased holds significant value as it sheds light on the controversial practices of conversion therapy, sparking conversations on human rights and the essence of love. A beacon for those grappling with their identity, this memoir is a powerful testament to the human spirit's resilience.

Review of Boy Erased

In Boy Erased, Garrard Conley crafts a compelling narrative that captures the emotional depths of identity struggle against a backdrop of rigid religious beliefs. With striking honesty, Conley shares his experiences at Love in Action, where conversion therapy attempts to "correct" his homosexuality. Key strengths of this memoir lie in its unflinching exposure of the detrimental effects of such therapies while artfully revealing the complex interplay of faith and family.

The writing is accessible yet profound, offering practical takeaways about the vital importance of empathy and acceptance. Conley's eloquent prose invites readers to reflect on broader societal issues—tackling prejudice and the courage needed to embrace one’s true self. The memoir is particularly poignant for religious families questioning the intersection of faith and identity.

This book's potential readership isn't confined to those who've experienced similar crises. Instead, it's a narrative that can educate all, revealing sad truths about intolerance while advocating for informed, compassionate change. A must-read for anyone seeking insights into resilience, Boy Erased is a moving narrative that leaves a lasting impact.

Who should read Boy Erased?

LGBTQ+ individuals seeking solidarity in shared experiences will find encouragement and understanding in Conley's journey.
Parents of LGBTQ+ youth grappling with acceptance may gain perspective on the importance of unconditional love over societal norms.
Faith leaders or religious congregants who wish to understand the nuanced interplay of faith and sexuality could benefit from this narrative.
Mental health professionals interested in the effects of conversion therapies will find this memoir to be a valuable case study.
Literary enthusiasts who appreciate memoirs with rich, emotive storytelling and deep thematic exploration will be captivated by this book.

About the author

Garrard Conley is an American author and LGBTQ activist known for his memoir "Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith, and Family." He holds an MFA from Brooklyn College, where he was a Truman Capote Fellow specializing in fiction, and an MA in English from Auburn University. Conley has received scholarships from MacDowell, Bread Loaf, Sewanee, and the Elizabeth Kostova Foundation Writers’ Conferences, and has taught writing classes at various institutions, including Kennesaw State University, where he is an Assistant Professor of Creative Writing. He is also a producer and creator of the podcast "UnErased," which explores the history of conversion therapy in America.