Permission to Feel

Unlocking The Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive

by Marc Brackett, PhD

4.7(3,506 ratings)

13 min read

Brief overview

This book explains how embracing every emotion can lead to healthier relationships, sharper decision-making, and greater overall well-being. Through practical methods and relatable stories, it shows you how to tune in to your emotional life and use powerful strategies to manage feelings effectively. By reading it, you can transform everyday challenges into chances for growth and success.

Introduction

We often think of emotions as unpredictable waves that just happen to us. Yet research shows our feelings can be recognized, understood, and skillfully regulated. This opens paths for better health, stronger connections, and deeper fulfillment. The moment we begin to see emotions as sources of valuable information, we take our first step toward emotional intelligence.

In many families and workplaces, discussing emotions is still taboo. People fear seeming weak or dramatic. But ignoring feelings can lead to burnout or conflict. Instead, acknowledging and working with our inner world leads to clarity and growth. It’s time to place emotions at the heart of how we live, learn, and collaborate.

Throughout these pages, you’ll explore a practical framework that helps you label, manage, and leverage your emotions. You’ll see how purposeful strategies can turn everyday frustrations into transformative learning opportunities. This journey starts by granting yourself the permission to feel—because true self-awareness begins there.

Why Emotions Matter

Emotions influence everything from our morning routine to our biggest life decisions. When we’re upset, even simple tasks feel overwhelming. Conversely, a joyful mood can spark creativity and flexibility. Far from being obstacles, emotions offer clues about what really matters to us, driving our choices in school, at work, and in relationships.

For centuries, people viewed feelings as distractions from logic. Today, science reveals that emotions are intertwined with rational thought. They guide our attention, signal important needs, and provide motivation. When we tune in and respond appropriately, we make smarter, more nuanced decisions, whether we’re parenting a toddler or leading a team of colleagues.

Problems arise when we ignore or misread our emotional signals. We may snap at loved ones, postpone crucial discussions, or even avoid opportunities that scare us. By recognizing and understanding our emotions, we can choose more constructive responses. This turns feelings from stumbling blocks into stepping stones for growth.

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What is Permission to Feel about?

"Permission to Feel: Unlocking The Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive" by Marc Brackett, PhD, redefines our approach to emotions as vital allies in personal and social development. The book introduces readers to practical emotional intelligence strategies, illustrating the profound impact our feelings have on decisions, relationships, and overall well-being. Dr. Brackett unpacks the five-step RULER framework, designed to help individuals recognize, understand, label, express, and regulate emotions effectively. This practical guide offers transformative insights on harnessing emotions for enhanced resilience and empathy.

Grounded in real-world examples and backed by rigorous research, "Permission to Feel" challenges existing perspectives that dismiss emotions as obstructions to rational thought. Instead, it reveals emotions as integral to rational decision-making and efficient communication. By fostering a deeper understanding of our emotional lives, Brackett empowers readers to navigate everyday challenges and create empathetic, supportive environments at home, school, and work. Ultimately, the book offers a comprehensive roadmap to cultivating stronger emotional intelligence, pivotal for harmonious and thriving communities.

Review of Permission to Feel

"Permission to Feel" stands out for its ability to translate complex emotional science into accessible, actionable steps. Marc Brackett's key strength lies in his ability to demystify the role emotions play in our daily lives, demonstrating how they shape our experiences beyond mere reactions. The book's practical applications are profound, offering readers the tools to transform emotional turmoil into opportunities for growth. Brackett's writing style is clear and engaging, making complex theories comprehensible for readers of varying backgrounds.

The book is particularly beneficial for educators, parents, and leaders, highlighting the relevance of emotional intelligence in fostering supportive learning and working environments. Its engaging prose invites readers to reconsider how they perceive and interact with emotions, making it a valuable resource for personal and professional development. While the book is rich in emotional insights, its true power lies in its application. Expect tangible takeaways such as breaking down emotional barriers, building resilient relationships, and enhancing mindful communication.

"Permission to Feel" is a must-read for anyone ready to embrace their emotions as essential components of a fulfilled life. Through vivid storytelling and practical exercises, the book guides readers to a place where empathy thrives, and emotional clarity leads. Highly recommended for those seeking meaningful change in how they experience and express emotions.

Who should read Permission to Feel?

Educators: This book equips teachers with tools to create emotionally supportive classrooms and better understand student needs through refined emotional intelligence.
Parents: Parents can learn to nurture their children's emotional development, creating a home environment that values open communication and emotional expression.
Mental Health Professionals: Professionals in this field can expand their understanding of emotion science, applying novel strategies to support clients' emotional growth.
Corporate Leaders: Business leaders can cultivate emotionally intelligent workplaces, fostering improved communication, collaboration, and overall morale.
College Students: Students on the brink of entering the workforce can harness emotional intelligence principles to manage stress and build stronger interpersonal skills.

About the author

Marc Brackett, PhD, is the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor in the Yale Child Study Center. He is an award-winning researcher with 25 years of experience, having published 175 scholarly articles and raised over $100 million in grant funding. His work focuses on the role of emotional intelligence in learning, decision-making, creativity, relationships, and health. He is also the lead developer of RULER, an evidence-based approach to social and emotional learning adopted by over 5,000 schools globally.