Forgiving What You Can't Forget

Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

by Lysa TerKeurst

4.7(24,802 ratings)

10 min read

Brief overview

This book shares a heartfelt journey of confronting past hurts, learning to name the hidden wounds within, and discovering how forgiveness is a powerful gateway to freedom. It explores how unresolved pain can weigh down your heart and offers practical, faith-based ways to let go of anger and cultivate safer, healthier relationships.

Introduction

How do you forgive what feels unforgivable? And how do you move forward when a painful memory keeps hunting you down? This book tackles those very questions by looking at practical, honest ways to handle hurt and disappointment. It acknowledges that sometimes old wounds become part of your daily mindset, shaping how you view people and relationships.

No one wants to live controlled by bitterness or cynicism. Yet it’s not always obvious how to heal. Sometimes you feel like you should have already gotten over a painful event, but you discover it still influences your thoughts and reactions in surprising ways.

Here, you’ll find an invitation to step back from that torment. It’s not about pretending the hurt never happened. Instead, it’s about reflecting thoroughly and compassionately, then learning to let go where you can, so you can truly begin living.

If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s possible to feel whole again, especially when the wounds are deep, take a seat. Let’s begin this journey, page by page, focusing on recovery, hope, and real progress toward forgiving what seems impossible.

Understanding the Long Shadow of Pain

Many of us try to compartmentalize past wounds. We think if we don’t talk about them, maybe they won’t keep hurting. Yet a betrayal or a traumatic event can form subtle lenses through which we see everyone else’s intentions.

Imagine carrying a backpack filled with rocks labeled “unresolved grudges” and “old disappointments.” Even if we convince ourselves it’s bearable, our muscles grow weary. Bitterness can show up in sour moods, flares of defensiveness, or an inability to trust people who haven’t done us any harm.

Pain left unprocessed has a way of taking control, steering us toward resentment.

To move forward, the first step is awareness. Notice when past issues leak into present interactions. Accept that the sorrow is real. Healing isn’t about dismissing your trauma but naming it and inviting something new to grow out of it.

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What is Forgiving What You Can't Forget about?

“Forgiving What You Can’t Forget” offers a deeply personal look at the power of forgiveness and the freedom it brings. Drawing from relatable stories and a faith-based framework, Lysa TerKeurst reveals how to move past resentment and break the cycle of painful memories. The book’s core themes explore why unprocessed trauma can weigh us down, and how naming our hidden scars can spark real healing. It resonates because it addresses the frustration and heartache many people feel when betrayal hits close to home.

In these pages, you’ll uncover practical insights on setting boundaries that protect your well-being without closing off genuine connection. Through a mix of candid anecdotes and actionable steps, TerKeurst shows how letting go of bitterness isn’t about ignoring consequences—it’s about freeing yourself to rebuild trust in healthier, more purposeful ways. Ultimately, this guide speaks to readers who crave emotional resilience and a restored sense of hope.

Review of Forgiving What You Can't Forget

Lysa TerKeurst’s work stands out for its gentle but straightforward approach to topics most people avoid, such as the aftershocks of betrayal and the struggle with persistent anger. One of the book’s strongest aspects is its blend of candid personal stories, faith-centered observations, and evidence-based exercises aimed at reframing negative narratives. Each chapter highlights a concrete method for uprooting deep-seated bitterness and learning to communicate with sincerity and self-awareness.

Beyond its spiritual dimension, the text is highly accessible. TerKeurst writes in a tone that feels both comforting and relevant, welcoming anyone grappling with unresolved conflict or emotional triggers. She includes guidance for setting respectful boundaries, reevaluating your thought patterns, and finding practical ways to forgive—even when trust has been shattered. The end result is a book that doesn’t sugarcoat real-life problems but offers a clear path toward acceptance and emotional stability. Recommended for readers seeking tangible steps to find peace and move forward.

Who should read Forgiving What You Can't Forget?

Professionals and parents seeking a faith-based approach to forgiving deep personal hurts
Individuals coping with infidelity, betrayal, or family strife who want practical healing methods
Readers interested in personal growth through reframing past trauma and refraining from bitterness
Counselors or spiritual leaders looking to understand a useful forgiveness framework for their communities

About the author

Lysa TerKeurst is the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and a #1 New York Times bestselling author. She has written 20 books, including "It's Not Supposed to Be This Way" and "Uninvited," and has sold over six million copies. Her latest book, "Forgiving What You Can't Forget," explores the process of forgiveness and healing from painful memories. She has extensive experience in leading Bible studies, podcasts, and speaking engagements, reaching millions through her daily email devotional and social media platforms.