Bringing Up Bébé by Pamela Druckerman cover

Bringing Up Bébé

One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting

by Pamela Druckerman

4.7(6,882 ratings)
14 min read

Brief overview

This book offers a firsthand look at a parenting style where children sleep well, eat with gusto, and treat others politely. Through vivid examples and practical insights, it demonstrates how guiding kids with calm authority and encouraging their independence can benefit both parents and children. Expect to find a gentle but effective approach to everyday challenges, from mealtime struggles to bedtime routines.

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Introduction

Welcome to a fresh parenting perspective discovered by an American parent living in France. From the outside, French families appear calm, with children who happily dine on full-course meals and greet strangers politely. Yet behind this serenity is a set of guiding principles that blend strictness and freedom in surprising ways.

In these pages, we’ll explore how French parents create a family life that’s focused yet flexible, offering just the right amount of structure so children thrive. You’ll see that discipline doesn’t mean harshness, and freedom doesn’t mean chaos. Instead, it’s a patient approach that respects both child and adult needs.

As we begin, think of this as an invitation to reflect on your own family’s daily rhythm—moments of dance between boundaries and independence. This is not about perfection. It’s about learning how small tweaks in mindset and expectations can yield big returns in joy, peace, and meaningful rapport with our kids.

Parenting becomes less stressful when you assume that children are capable, rational beings who can learn to handle frustration.

A New View on Routines

French parents often highlight the benefits of having coherent, predictable routines for children, especially around eating and sleeping. Rather than feeding on impulse or reacting to every fuss, they gradually guide babies into a schedule that mirrors the family’s mealtimes. This allows children to learn that mealtimes are set events, not random snack stops.

One striking idea is **The Pause**, where parents wait a few moments before rushing in when a baby cries, especially at night. This small delay helps parents distinguish between real distress and brief sleep-cycle noises. Babies often settle themselves back to sleep—an early lesson in self-soothing.

Kids quickly grow confident within these routines. By aligning with a natural daily flow, they begin to feel that mealtimes, naps, and bedtimes are simply part of life’s rhythm. It’s not a rigid system, but rather a gentle structure that respects each child’s personality while helping them develop resilience.

When children expect regular mealtimes and consistent bedtimes, they can handle frustration better and remain calmer.

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What is Bringing Up Bébé about?

“Bringing Up Bébé” offers an insightful look into a world where children develop patience, eat four-course lunches at preschool, and show greater independence in daily life. Author Pamela Druckerman, an American in Paris, uncovers the subtle but significant differences in how French parents foster respectful boundaries while still encouraging freedom. This distinctive blend of guidance and autonomy can lead to calmer family routines and more confident children.

By weaving personal anecdotes with cultural observations, Druckerman reveals practical strategies for teaching politeness, introducing diverse foods, and allowing kids the space to explore. She emphasizes that parents need not sacrifice their own identities in the journey. With an approachable tone and relatable examples, the book underscores how these practices can be adapted to help families everywhere find balance and enjoyment in child-rearing.

Review of Bringing Up Bébé

This book’s strength lies in its real-life scenarios, illustrating how to apply the French parenting style—like establishing consistent mealtimes and respecting a child’s ability to self-soothe at night. Druckerman’s personal, cross-cultural experience imbues the content with authenticity, while the blend of sympathy and practicality makes each takeaway feel accessible. Readers can test routine-focused methods at home, such as calmly insisting on a single afternoon snack or gently showing that “no” truly means no.

The writing is clear and conversational, so parents from different backgrounds can easily connect with the lessons. Whether you’re worn out by endless mealtime battles or simply intrigued by alternative perspectives, “Bringing Up Bébé” illustrates how structure and independence can go hand in hand. It’s a refreshing read for anyone wanting a more balanced approach to raising children, and it earns a solid recommendation for its blend of humor, informed research, and actionable ideas.

Who should read Bringing Up Bébé?

  • Parents looking for a calmer, practical routine for meal and sleep schedules
  • Busy professionals seeking child-rearing tips without sacrificing their own personal time
  • New parents wanting a cross-cultural perspective on encouraging etiquette and independence
  • Caregivers eager for a structured yet flexible approach that emphasizes a child’s autonomy

About the author

Pamela Druckerman is an American-French journalist and author. She holds a bachelor's degree in philosophy from Colgate University and a master's in international affairs from Columbia University's School of International and Public Affairs. Druckerman has extensive experience as a staff reporter at The Wall Street Journal, covering economics and politics in various countries, and is a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times International Edition. She is best known for her book "Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting," which explores the differences in French and American parenting styles.

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